Beyond Definition
by VinnyLB
Summary: When Zee makes a startling confession, Ro learns she may have underestimated his understanding of human emotions.


_Beyond Definition_   
by Vanessa

  
  


Ro sat on the steps of the hotel, hugging her knees tightly under her chin and staring blankly into the distance. Zee was inside, upstairs, and she had no idea what he was doing. Probably standing right where she had left him, smiling his calm smile and waiting patiently for her answer, childishly believing that she would never do anything to hurt him. 

_Zee..._

He had seemed troubled all that day, but had evaded her questions. It wasn't like Zeta to keep things to himself. It worried her. Was he still upset about Selig? No, that couldn't be it, he had been fine all week. Of course, she knew nothing about the psychology of synthoids. 

The last time she asked what was wrong, the robot had replied that he needed time alone, to think. Without waiting for her response, he left the hotel room, the same troubled look on his face. 

He didn't come back till dark, but Ro could see the change in him. Zee looked calm now, peaceful, and smiled warmly at him when he walked into the room. The question hung in the air between them: was he okay now? He answered the unspoken question with a single phrase. 

_"I love you, Ro."_

She must've looked like such an idiot. For a full minute, she stammered. She stuttered. She found it impossible to join letters into coherent words, and all the time, Zee watched her calmly. If she didn't know better, she would swear he was _amused_. Finally, she regained her composure long enough to tell him that she needed to think. 

So, there she was, sitting outside, thinking. 

She would hate to let him down, to see his smiling face drop into that sad, depressing frown again. She couldn't stand to see Zee upset. It would be so hard... 

_Then don't let him down_, a tiny voice in the back of her mind nagged. 

_What choice do I have?_ she thought back angrily. _No matter how Zee acts, he's a robot, and robots don't have feelings like that._

_ Of course, Zee's no ordinary robot..._

She buried her face in her hands and tried to shut the voice out, but failed. It didn't matter whether or not Zee somehow had emotions. He was still a robot, and a relationship between a human and a robot wasn't possible, wasn't _normal._

_ As if _anything_ in your life has been normal. Face it, Ro; if you really wanted a sane life, you wouldn't be with Zeta now._

Things had been so much easier when they had first started looking for Selig. If Zeta had suddenly announced he loved her, she would have laughed, said "Yeah, right," and changed the subject. Instead, she was sitting there and debating it! What had changed? Why couldn't it be that easy now? 

_Because you love him._

There was no point in denying it. She knew it was true. For the longest time, she had loved Zeta, but had kept it hidden. It wasn't right for a human to have feelings for a machine, and besides, Zeta would never understand the concept of love. Obviously, she had underestimated him. 

"Ro..." Zee's soft voice startled her, and he smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." 

She sighed. "Sit down, tin man. We have to talk." He obediently sat down on the steps beside her and stared up at the stars, and it took all of her self-control not to lean against him. "So," she hesitantly began. "You... love me." 

"Yes." 

"And how did you just suddenly decide that you love me?" 

"It wasn't sudden at all." He paused, as if reviewing what he would say next. "For a long time, I felt something for you that I could not explain. I thought, at first, that it was a malfunction... but after several diagnostics, I still couldn't accept that there was nothing wrong with my programming. It was very upsetting, not knowing what was wrong with me." 

Ro shook her head. Leave it to Zee to start feeling emotions and think it was some kind of computer virus. "That explains the mood you were in today... Where did you go, though?" 

"To see Bucky. It was possible that my diagnostics were missing something, and he was the only one I could go to. He checked every system, every subroutine... even the circuit module, and found nothing wrong. I described the problem to him, and he laughed at me. He said the problem was obvious." 

"That you love me." Zeta nodded. "And you're taking _Bucky's_ word for it? Zee, Bucky isn't really the most reliable source..." 

"But he's human." The synthoid's smile had become almost sad. "He has had an entire lifetime of experience with emotions, while I am only beginning to learn. He still knows more about this than I do." 

"Then how do you even know he's right?" She hesitantly reached out to him, resting her hand on his shoulder. "If you're just starting to feel things like this, how do you know this is love? How can you even know what love is?" 

"Actually, I have been programmed with several definitions of the word. Love is a feeling of strong affection; for example, a person's love for their family, love for friends..."   
  
Ro listened to him as he reviewed every dictionary definition known to humanity, listing synonyms, antonyms, examples, quotes, origins of the word and more. She felt a little relieved. To Zee, love was no more than a word in a book, another aspect of humanity to imitate. It was ridiculous to have thought that the robot could feel anything more than friendship. At the same time, though, and for the same reason, she couldn't help but feel sad.   
  
"That's enough, Zee," she interrupted as he began to translate "love" into different languages. He stopped as abruptly as he had started, staring at her calmly and waiting for a response. "I don't see what any of that had to do with me."   
  
"I love you."   
  
_Please, stop saying that..._ "Then which of those categories do I fall into? What definition fits whatever you're feeling?"   
  
He was quiet for a moment, returning his gaze to the stars. He didn't have an answer, she thought. He didn't have a logical way to explain love this time. Ro stared into the distance, wondering how long he would search his databases for an answer he'd never find. She began to get impatient, considered going back inside and leaving the synthoid to his research.   
  
Without warning, Zee's hand covered hers, lifting it off the concrete steps. Not long ago, he had learned to make his hologram more solid, and she was surprised at how human he felt... even more surprised when he leaned forward and kissed her. The kiss was robotic, very unfamiliar to Zeta, but still so full of love, so _human_. She found herself kissing him back, ignoring the part of her mind that screamed that he was only a holographic collection of photons covering an inhuman synthoid. She didn't care anymore.   
  
Zee eventually pulled away slightly, still holding her hand. "No definition this time?" she asked him quietly.   
  
He shook his head. "There are none that fit. What I feel for you, whatever it is... it's beyond definition. Human words are inadequate."   
  
She smiled, moving her free hand around his waist to his back, pulling him closer for another kiss. "Then 'I love you' will just have to work."   


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